Fallin' Up

I love the fall season. I like the colors, I love the weather, and I adore the fact that there are no bugs! Speaking of bugs, I have a whole infestation of little beetle critters in the Cottonwoods. ...just went to Google and I believe I have white margin burrower bugs...good times at my house. I have so many of these darn things I thought they were coffee grounds sprinkled along the side of the house and under the tree-till I noticed the whole pile was moving. I just walked away and swallowed the barf back down. So other than that just working on the ole yard. Getting ready to pile and burn some leaves so I can get to the bottom of the infestation. I also have bulbs I was hoping to get into the ground before too long. Good times at my house. My gigantic baby puppy needs a tack shed. he is too large for a dog house and I know he's uncomfortable sleeping on our covered porch and trying to lay underneath our steps because one end is always hanging out. I am going to see what I can m...

"...today you won't remember me. You face will be the reason I smile. I will not see what I cannot have forever. I'll always love you. I hope you feel the same." Maxwell For the past fifteen years I've had one male friend who's come and gone out of my life as need be. His needs being met in finding a female perspective and someone to reiterate his desire to find a female life partner and his right to be happy. The last time we spoke at length, my connection, my person that tied he and I had passed. I was the person to relay the news. Heartbroken and wondering about our opportunity to reunite, I didn't have the energy to explain my current boyfriend and the distance he and I had developed over the years. Why my beau and I didn't have the connection I had with my friend was hard for me to accept and explain. He knew and didn't force our conversation. We lost contact for two years. The next time I saw him was before the birth of my first child. H...

Ten day course, seventeen miles, nine outdoor expedition days. Self leadership was my skill. Active follower-ship was my motto.  "Expedition members show good leadership by following the leadership of others. They should all participate in the group process, model good EB, and support the leader by seeking clarification, giving input, and respecting the group's plan. Active followers generally work for the betterment of the group and it's goals." I was a chaperone for a group of seven young ladies, I was one of then women to travel for seventeen miles through the Wind River Mountains. I saw a new world and gave myself time to heal my heart and get back in touch with my body. My babies stayed behind with their father and I woke up every day thinking about them and ended each night knowing that they were safe and had my love to protect them. We saw wilderness and experienced things none of us will ever forget. I respect the gift of life and I respect the leaders...

I wanted to find a walk for my little family to do during this time. But I am a single mom and I know it would take more than sheer will and snacks to keep my two babies preoccupied for the two to three hours I would need to take part in a 5k. So my focus now is on Halloween and getting costumes and supplies to have a great set up for the kids this year. The boy will be Spider Man and the girl is planning on being a bumble bee, just need to get the tights and some shoes for her outfit and we will be set. I am onto coupons and discount sites. So far I've done well. I saved 26.00 at Safeway and I was able to save 15.00 at Walgreen's so I am off to a good start. Still figuring out the rules and regulations of the coupon world. Wish me luck.

"...go to him. Stay with him if you can, but be prepared to bleed...you're so bitter and so sweet. I could drink a case of you...still I'd be on my feet. I'd still be on my feet." I'm still on my feet. I ended my relationship with the father of my children. I remember my life when I first discovered this song by Joni Mitchell. I was younger, childless, and wondering what a life with a family would be like. I was going to school full time and learning what a life of my own felt like.  I started my 30's wondering what my future was going to hold. I didn't imagine children in my future or making my life with someone in it. I was standing on the edge of a new life and not looking back. Wading into the world and contemplating a plunge without looking back...but I did. I met someone and accepted the road that started with a new relationship and the dream of loving someone and creating a life we both kept at arms length. Neither of us knew how to do it or ...

Here are a few highlights of my June. Kids are doing awesome, daughter is trying to walk. Crawling was a little freaky, she was trying to crawl with her bottom in the air and it didn't work out so she went back to crawling normal. My son is still getting his hulk smash on. He loves him some Bruce Banner. I never had this sort of attraction to anything but a couple of songs off of some corny 80's movies but I grew out of it so there is hope for my son. I feel sorry for him when I put these on the cover of his 16th birthday party invites. My other child, my youngest baby is learning how to hold is own and follow direction from our body language and small noises. He is fighting magpies & cows and becoming confident in himself. I think he will always be a baby at heart and keep his temperament and wits about him.

Happy 4th of July!