Sunday, January 9, 2011

Tell me how you REALLY FEEL, 2010?

Heartbreak at the end and sadness at the beginning of 2011. Lost my dear friend, lost an uncle, and losing a good, good, person I had the honor of knowing. Cancer kills and death sucks.

I'm sitting here in the dark and planning my grand escape to a friends house for the night. I don't run away from problems, I usually just deal with em and get on with living. I'm in a doozy and wondering how to get out of a possible rut in a new relationship. Sh!t or get off the pot time. GO TIME.

I'm dating, it was going well, but little deal breakers are pushing us apart and apparently I speak with my cooch instead of my head so now I asked the person I began dating to take a little time out since we seem to be getting on each others' nerves.

I don't want to be the adult here, I don't want to make decisions for other people but I honestly don't want to live a lie and get down the road with a squeaky fan belt that turns into a broke down car. I'm stepping away and plan to look to my childen, and worry about what's best from here on out.

The relief of not having to plan for someone elses' life and dealing with the pressure of trying to make his family and mine into one symbiotic working unit was a little too tough for me. I like him a lot, not sure if it's love cause my version of love in the past was skewed so I just dove in this time around and I realized I couldn't feel the bottom.

We will see what the evening holds and back to the old grind in the morning.