In my mother's final days we were able to listen to some songs that were meaningful to her and allowed us a look into her life as a younger woman and the importance of mercy and closure in finding peace at the end of life.
My seven siblings and I laid our wonderful mother to rest on March 7th and I have waited sixteen days to process and allow myself to get my footing and release some of the grief and loneliness I have been keeping to myself. I am grateful for the gift of time and I do not resent or hold any negative feelings toward the situation because it will be something in my life I will never be able to fully process or accept. So I choose to be grateful for time, for the will, and for the empathy and grace of peace that was granted to my mother.
I am very fortunate to have been born in the middle of two brothers and have the gift of being the youngest daughter my mother raised. I had the gift of time and experience to allow me to become a well-rounded woman, not lady, but woman. I observed her capacity to stand on her own two feet and create a life for us. I know I too, can make the life I would like as opposed to what I can gain. I attribute that to my mother. I give her credit for providing me the guidance to not only know, but to believe, that I could determine my life.
This year has been a huge transition for my family. We have learned how to grow into adulthood and with that change, we've also learned about the responsibility to share experiences, both good and bad have been a big part of this stage in life. For a long time I have allowed people to determine my social role and responsibility in my community. I am slowly coming into my own and I know that I have done what I can to offer help or guidance for my family and friends in their time of need. I share my experience in this lifetime freely and without negative response because it's a part of living and growing into who and what we are meant to do in this world.
Above all else I am grateful for my community, my newe-my people, for holding me and my little family up as I adapt to this part of life and learn to move on without my bia'-my mother. There hasn't ever been a time where my parent was ever disappointed in the life I've made and I know in my heart I will do what I can to continue to make her proud and enjoy my life with her in my spirit and with me always.
Thank you for reading I appreciate your support.